women dating single dads with full custody of the kids?
I have full custody of my kids and I was wondering?
Usually its the women who end up with the kids and everything else. With that in mind, men are the ones who have to deal with the woman’s kids if there are any.
How would women deal with the kids that live with dad full time? Or, does it matter to them?
I can see how women without kids would stay away, but being a single mom for 6 years I can tell you the men sure run fast when you tell them youre a single mother.
I think anyone with kids- who likes kids in general- will be more accepting of your children.
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November 27, 2009 at 12:38 pmwldntulike_2know
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I dated a single dad one time. He had full custody but still allowed the mom days with their daughter. The kid was fine, but he had all kinds of drama with his ex. That is the part that no woman wants to deal with.
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November 27, 2009 at 12:47 pmjellysdaddy29
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My wife was in this situation years ago. The first man she married, had two girls that he had custody of. She took those girls along with her son and made a family. She helped raise those girls as if they were her own. For some women though, I’m sure they would want their own children and would not want a ready made family. If you are a single dad, don’t look to hard for the perfect woman. She will come when you least expect it. I know my wife did.
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November 27, 2009 at 12:58 pmmominohio
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Honestly it doesn’t matter to me. I have dated guys that have kids with them and guys that have kids that they just have visitations with eithe way at some point you usually meet the kids. For me I enjoy seeing how they interact with their children and seeing what kind of father they are. Dating someone with kids though can be rough no matter what because the kids may or may not accept you which can have an affect.
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November 27, 2009 at 1:48 pmcathy
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Mostly it comes down to the way the father is with the kids and how he includes the lady in this relationship.
Sometimes a guy can be mean about it with the kids are more important then the lady, which of course we know but it is the way he will go about doing it..
Sometims a guy can be like the new lady is an instand mom and that sometimes is not the way it should go. We want to love the kids but and maybe part of the family but not the moment we walk in the door.
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November 27, 2009 at 2:23 pmTerri J
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Raising children alone is not easy. I would focus on them and make them a good home. Any woman who doesn’t find that attractive wouldn’t be good for your kids anyway. Even if noone comes along for years, you won’t be sorry because you got your priorities straight. And, after they head off to college, you can date without worrying who will be good for the kids.
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November 27, 2009 at 3:05 pmkaye j
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I don’t think it matters.it’s nice to see a father that cares.It shows you care for more than just your self .but you are right most of the time its the woman that have the kids I know i am a single mother i am glad to see that not all men out there run from their kids
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November 27, 2009 at 3:35 pmheartburn 4 lyfe
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it wouldnt matter to me. its always nice to see a guy taking care of his children unlike a lot of men today…..
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November 27, 2009 at 4:19 pmSqueaker
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I can see how women without kids would stay away, but being a single mom for 6 years I can tell you the men sure run fast when you tell them youre a single mother.
I think anyone with kids- who likes kids in general- will be more accepting of your children.
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November 27, 2009 at 5:01 pmLulu
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I can tell u from personal experience, that if a person really cares about you they will embrace your children…the fact that you have your kids should not be a deterrent to any woman on the contrary, it is truly commendable that you do have your kids (since most of the time women have full custody) it certainly says quite a bit about who you are as a person; responsible, caring, loving human being…way to go Dad!
the only advise I can give you is to not forget to create that balance in your life…you can be a super Dad and still find time to do things for yourself even if it involves having a healthy relationship with someone…any person that is deemed worthwhile will have the patience and understanding to give you support in both of those roles…Remember your kids are counting on you, never lose faith and above all be positive so you can continue to be a good role model in their life!…
Best of luck to you!
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http://www.squidoo.com/singledad/
http://www.fathersworld.com/fulltimedad/links/single.html
November 27, 2009 at 5:09 pmmoonprincess_serenity2000
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My future husband was single dad with full custody. One of the things that he liked about me was how I interacted with our son. I also think that it helps that we were both single parents. I think that some women would have trouble dealing while others would embrace the children. I probably wouldn’t have met our son when we started dating if I hadn’t already known him from prior interactions. I also think the key is to how one goes about introducing someone new to the family. Good luck.
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November 27, 2009 at 5:35 pmkendi
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I was engaged to a man for four years who had a son with another woman. They had 50/50 custody, but we had him most of the time due to her lack of interest in parenting. I loved him like my own son (which we had together), and believe me, it was hard to love him sometimes. He had discipline issues and those are hard to address when you are not the "parent". I had to remind myself that the issues were not his fault, but his parents’ fault, and tried to help him the best that I could. We’ve been split up now for about three months, and I miss him like crazy, but I don’t get to see him or even ask about him. So I guess I would say that it definitely makes it harder on a relationship, but if it’s the right person for you, then she will be understanding and patient. A word of advice: be proactive about setting limits and boundaries for both, and live up to your word. If you tell your kids that something will happen as a consequence to their misbehavior, please, please, please…follow up on it. I would also be careful about when you introduce a new lady friend to the kids. You don’t want them to get attached to someone who isn’t going to potentially be around for the long haul. Just trust your gut and be FAIR.
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EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!
November 27, 2009 at 6:22 pmLinda C
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Some women wouldn’t care. They realize that when you’re dating a man with kids, you get the whole package. If a woman doesn’t like kids or particularly doesn’t like yours, scratch her off the list and look elsewhere.
I married a man with 4 kids and I’ve told them they can treat our home as their own (they’re older teenagers). This has always been taken for granted.
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November 27, 2009 at 6:56 pmrachel
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least of my worries. I am a single mum of twins…so where do you live LOL?
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November 27, 2009 at 7:22 pmjenn a
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i went through this. i dated a guy that had custody of his three kids. it was hard but it didnt bother me i loved his kids i just never loved him and we ended up splitting
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November 27, 2009 at 7:42 pmR
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Not woman but here it goes. Some women will be put off by it while others will find the fact that you are a single parent hot.
Side note now that you are dating again don’t introduce everyone to your kids if you date one person for three to six months then but evryone you date a week or two will be traumtizing to them. You need to wait till there is a relationship to do this. This may upset the woman but you need to protect your kids
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November 27, 2009 at 8:06 pmnarregirl
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well lm about to marry my man who has his two kids full time.. there have been ups and downs but hey that comes with it … now we are becoming a happy family unit it all just takes some time lots of patients and love, love…
Men with kids or women with kids face the same issues it’s all a matter of give and take and if you love love the other person you will work at getting it working smoothly..
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November 27, 2009 at 8:25 pmsuggir_bear
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I too dated a man who had full custody of his two boys. I had no problem with the boys! They were adorable and well behaved. (Told me that he really took care of them and loved them – they way they behaved.)
My problem was he seemed too desperate. He just kept calling and calling and calling. I had no space to move. I felt kind of smothered. And, he had been on one maybe two dates and he was talking about a "wife" and the "perfect qualities" and was talking about how I met them. It was a little much.
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November 27, 2009 at 9:06 pmmattz_grrl
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I was a single mom for a while. Once I started dating again, after the smoke cleared from the divorce and things settled down, it wouldn’t have mattered to me one bit if I had found a good man who had children of his own. If the woman truly loves YOU for who you are, she will love your children as well.
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November 27, 2009 at 9:48 pmKate T
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I’m sure it depends on the woman, the dad, and the kids involved. That being obvious, I would caution, based on personal experience, that some women encounter a great deal of difficulty in accepting and adjusting to their boyfriend’s/husband’s children, and their subsequent role as stepmother. If the mother is still in the picture, a woman may feel jealousy or competition with both the ex and the children for her new partner’s attention. She may come to resent the influence that the ex has in the life that she and her partner share, and may come to see the children as inconvenient intrusions.
On the other hand, if she is completely open to the situation, she may fall in love with the kids, and act faithfully and earnestly in the best interests. She may become on eof the best things to ever happen to them!
Please be very cautious in choosing a partner, as her ability (or lack thereof) to love and nurture your children will have far-reaching effects on them.
I’m sure the same can hold true for men dating women with children….
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November 27, 2009 at 10:07 pmenljb
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I am actually in this situation right now. I am a single mom and I am starting to date a single dad that has full custody. I think that it is great. A woman loves seeing that you are responsible and how you will be as a father if you end up having a life with more children in the future. I understand the questioning of yourself and how you are not sure how you will be perceived, but keep your chin up. You are probably at a point in your life where you only want responsible mates and having your children in the picture will help you to keep your focus when dating. Hope this was some sort of help. Good luck dad!
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