What are the Pros and Cons of dating a single mother?
I just dont know if Im ready to date a single mother, I just feel nervous about how to be around her kid and how to address concerns about how ‘over’ the dad she is. It feels weird to me dating someone who has a child with another guy, that seems like something that would form a strong bond and how can i compete with that?
pros – she will be desperate cons, she will be desperate!
Seriously, I have a friend who is a single mother and she constantly bangs on about how she is looking for a father figure for her son and someone with some money to support her – and she wonders why she is single!
Personally, I wouldn’t date a man with children – I just wouldn’t want to get involved with having the ex hanging around and being put second to someone elses kids all the time.
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October 30, 2009 at 10:30 am(m)&(m)
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Have you ever seen the movie "About a Boy"?
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October 30, 2009 at 10:48 amToothfairyFan
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MILF?
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October 30, 2009 at 11:06 amzaphod73@att.net
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Pro, she’ll have sex at the drop of a hat…Cons, she’ll have sex at the drop of a hat. hehe… 8^)
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October 30, 2009 at 11:54 amChloe Angel
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u need 2 watch the movie ‘about a boy’
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October 30, 2009 at 12:05 pmLarry The Don ®
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I don’t think there are any extraordinary pros, cons are jealous father of kid though
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October 30, 2009 at 12:21 pmabizzell4hire
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At least you know she puts out!
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October 30, 2009 at 12:41 pmP’rushim
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…" single mothers " are HOT ! their kids are NOT (you’ve figure it out)
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October 30, 2009 at 1:25 pmpink-icing
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what sort of question is that, she is an inddviual, dont generalise her and identify her.
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October 30, 2009 at 2:01 pmstar_lite57
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Pros – More single parents know what they want in life, than single non parents. They’ve been through the ringer, and understand what they did wrong, so aren’t willing to do the same thing again. A lot of times, they’ve also been through the party phase, and don’t need to do that anymore, and will just be satisfied settling down with a good person.
Cons – You inherit somebody else’s child. It’s not easy raising a child that’s not yours. The parent and/or child might bring baggage with them you could end up wishing you never had to deal with. You also have the possibility of having to deal with the ex on a semi regular basis.
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October 30, 2009 at 2:34 pmAndy R
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Of course there is a strong bond between a child and their dad. Here’s another clue…that lady you are interested in has a really strong bond with him too.
If you are thinking this way you need to keep this relationship very casual while you continue to try to understand this OR you need to get out now.
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October 30, 2009 at 2:54 pmnessa1234567
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Pros: Most single parents know what they want in life/relationships
Cons: The child. Its not easy to get alone time with the mother and take care of a child that isnt yours.
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October 30, 2009 at 3:29 pmSouthBay
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Just be open and honest.
Willingness to learn and grow.
A single mom has been to the parade, she has seen all the tricks and therefore she is not in it to play.
Single moms are great and filled with passion and love.
Just be real
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October 30, 2009 at 3:43 pmMake the voices STOP
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PRO:
kids are good icebreakers
if you get along with the kids, that scores big points with the mom
CON:
ex won’t leave the scene
she may be fat from having kids
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October 30, 2009 at 4:09 pmastroface
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like you name, get a clue. so that person has a child from someone else its not like you havent had sex with someone else. she had sex and had a baby and the purpose of sex is to reproduce. so i wouldn’t even want to deal with you if i was her in the first place.
chances are given to be taken, if you stand back your chance is gone
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October 30, 2009 at 4:27 pmJohn
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If your not ready to be a dad don’t do it. Moms get clingy very quick because they look for father figures
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October 30, 2009 at 4:52 pmmotivation
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you might not be comfortable with the thought of taking some other guys spot.
im the same way.
if the relationship leads to seriousness and your still not comfortable than that can cause you to worry and stress over petty things which leads to fighting and an unhealthy relationship.
talk to your lady about how you feel, dont expect her to know how you feel.
good luck. dont give up just yet.
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October 30, 2009 at 5:02 pmTrynBoe
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pros- if you ever wanted a kid that’s a great chance to have one without having to deal with all night feeding and diaper duty
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October 30, 2009 at 5:52 pmMj052506
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of course it is something that bonds the parents in some ways. But reality, they are no longer together. Just because two people love their child, does not mean they still love each other. It can bring respect, gratitude, affection and even different forms of love. But there are obviously reasons they are not together. I guess you have to decide how you feel about kids. How you feel about the woman. I mean I would definitely get to know her first, and really decide if you are ready for this. But I would not totally brush her off just because she has a child. And I think you’d be surprised how easily you can also develope affection for the child. Mostly, kids are easy to bond with. I think most of us can act like big kids at times. We tap into that especially when we are around children. And if you decide you are just not ready for this, be honest and open with the mother. Dont lead her on. I am sure she is prepared for that possibility.
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October 30, 2009 at 6:24 pmlostintranslation
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true about the strong bond but a true father doesn’t have to biological. the good thing about single mother is that they are independent. the baggage of course that comes along with it is up to the guy and if he wants that in his life.
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single mother
October 30, 2009 at 6:38 pmCoPa
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if you’re not too old, you’d probably prefer dating a person that hasn’t been married or had kids. sorry to say it but it’s almost like buying a used car or something. i’m sure the kid is great, i’m sure you’re great with kids… but unless there is just some reason you’re so in love with this woman and her kid that you wouldn’t mind giving it a try then i’d say you need to date around still.
by the way it makes it pretty awkward for the kid… no matter how hard you try to be the boy/girl’s father you never will be.
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October 30, 2009 at 7:09 pmretox
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pros – she will be desperate cons, she will be desperate!
Seriously, I have a friend who is a single mother and she constantly bangs on about how she is looking for a father figure for her son and someone with some money to support her – and she wonders why she is single!
Personally, I wouldn’t date a man with children – I just wouldn’t want to get involved with having the ex hanging around and being put second to someone elses kids all the time.
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October 30, 2009 at 7:41 pmjazzfanmd
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It sounds like you’re not ready. She may be TOTALLY over the father of her kid/kids, but they will ALWAYS have to deal with each other because of the life they created. IF, she is over him, then it isn’t much different than an ex-boyfriend. But you have other issues to deal with – getting attached to her children, and them to you, whether you should visit overnight, paying for child care when you go out, depending on their ages, including them in your activities, and the fact that she can’t just do things on a whim as easily as many childless women. If she’s a good woman, take your time, and let things develop. Good luck.
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October 30, 2009 at 8:09 pmxenypoo
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The pro is you might fall in love with her, and her family…kids are great…if they’re not, it’s the parents fault.
Cons, none.
Give her a chance, and her child too. You seem like a nice guy who is concerned over the feelings of the child. The point is to not compete. You just start out as a friend….you’ll eventually learn the goings on in the relationship, and you’ll get your barrings.
If you truly want love, it comes to you, you don’t find it, and once it does, no cross you bare will stand in it’s way.
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October 30, 2009 at 8:25 pmilovemybigmac
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It’s not about competition. Your bond with her and her kid is the only thing that matters. If your not ready, then your not ready. Don’t force yourself to date her, if you do, then she will know and everyone would be miserable. However, if you like her enough to stick around, you will find that her being a single mother should affect your feelings for each other. Everyone has a past, believe me, I know. It’s not easy to reconcile with another persons past, especially if you love them (in my case). Also, don’t treat the child badly, it’s not his/her fault. Eveything will work out exactly how it is supposed to. Don’t worry, and talk to her about it. Hope this helps.
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October 30, 2009 at 9:05 pmmushroom_stamp
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Is she hot, you don’t want to hook up with a woman that has a lot of baggage if she is ugly. How often do you "get it" and does she have a good paying job or are you going to support her.Is her daughter over the age of 18 – if so this could lead to a future hook-up.
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