What are some reasons for not dating a single mother?
A woman I know keeps hinting that she wants me to date her daughter who’s nice enough but is a single mum and that’s put me off dating her because I don’t want the hassle of having another mans kid in my life. Do you think I’m wise to avoid single mothers? I thought to myself if I’m going to date it will be with someone with no attachements and not someone who’s already tied down.
Don’t let yourself be pushed into dating her. It’s ok not to want to get involved when she has a child, and yes eventually she might want you to become their dad, plus there’s the issues of the child’s dad himself – he may well still be around and will be for the next 18 years or so. You want to be there when they’re picking up/dropping off the kid between houses?
It’s an awful lot to take on board. You have to be really crazy in love with the mother first of all – that’s the only time you’ll be prepared to take on the rest of the headache – sorry – I mean package, too. That’s not to dismiss all single mothers though, perhaps just this one.
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October 27, 2009 at 2:59 amtexasman
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she is fertile?
but you know if she has a kid she puts out?
good luck, use a rubber
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October 27, 2009 at 3:37 amBEE
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ur imature and mean a baby/kid isnt the fault of the mistakes he isnt asking u for nothing not even love…
u can say ur going out with another girl or meeting one and dont want to ruin it
and its dumb because time has changed honey what if it was ur sister in her position how would u feel if someone said that?
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October 27, 2009 at 3:54 amreggie
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A couple of dates isn’t a marriage commitment, give it a go, you might enjoy
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October 27, 2009 at 4:19 amGreeneBogey
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Firstly it depends how old you are yourself. If you do go out with a single mum, then you will become a new daddy for her kids. If you don’t want hastle, and there will be when old daddy finds out you are dating mummy, I’d steer well clear.
Don’t feel forced into doing anything you don’t want. Apart from anything else, think how it would affect her kids if it didn’t work out. Sounds like they’ve been through enough.
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Single mum with 2 kids by 2 different fathers living with new partner.
October 27, 2009 at 4:50 amashley
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haha, as a single mother, i probably should say no, you’re not wise… but… I can’t, that wouldnt be the right answer…
If you don’t want another mans child in your life, that does not make you a bad person, there is alot of baggage that comes with a single mother the child being a big one and it is totally you decision whether or not you want to go for it or not.
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October 27, 2009 at 5:21 amPurple420
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dude if you don’t want her don’t start with her i think your doing the right thing by not starting a relationship and very well breaking hers and the hearts of her children and you don’t want that and it makes perfect sense too want your own family your just not right for her
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October 27, 2009 at 5:32 amtatskie
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because you said you "don’t want the hassle of having another mans kid in my life" and "someone who’s already tied down,"
and you DO WANT "someone with no attachements,"
then you have to turn down the offer. she’s not the only woman in the world, and you’re definitely not the only man around her as well.
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October 27, 2009 at 6:08 amTao
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I am a single dad although my daughter 10 lives with her mum, I am 44 and I would always prefer to date a mother, they have done some serious growing up, well nearly all them. But as a single non daddy, probably not no, too many dynamics. Use the Tao method and whack one of when and think of her only then see how you feel immediacy afterwards. Do you still really fancy her or are you still very happy to be single. The mum either Fancy’s you or she wants her little girl to have more support…..steer clear
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October 27, 2009 at 6:41 am?
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There is nothing wise or stupid about it…just whether or not u are the type of person who has a heart big enough to accept the good and bad that comes with dating someone with children.
If you think its gonna be an issue for YOU (she and the child are not problems…they are mother and child), then dont date her. Simple! You could be doing her a favour!
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October 27, 2009 at 7:20 amHan
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Don’t let yourself be pushed into dating her. It’s ok not to want to get involved when she has a child, and yes eventually she might want you to become their dad, plus there’s the issues of the child’s dad himself – he may well still be around and will be for the next 18 years or so. You want to be there when they’re picking up/dropping off the kid between houses?
It’s an awful lot to take on board. You have to be really crazy in love with the mother first of all – that’s the only time you’ll be prepared to take on the rest of the headache – sorry – I mean package, too. That’s not to dismiss all single mothers though, perhaps just this one.
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October 27, 2009 at 7:42 amPiggy
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A relationship with a child-free woman will naturally be much easier and you’ll avoid all the baggage, stress and hassle of the ex, and the complicated family relationships. On the other hand, I’m finding that, as I get older, I have less and less choice. It seems like almost every woman over the age of 30 has at least one child…
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October 27, 2009 at 8:26 amMaverick
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Yes you are wise to avoid this situation you will only get used and if you have a good job and earn 30.000 a year plus and buy a property and decide to move in with mum and child then i can tell you what will follow .
If anything happens to you. In law they will be since as your dependants and will have a claim on your estate whether you are married or not and i can also tell you that the child will be since as a dependent( despite the fact that your not biological father) because you are bringing her up in your own home regardless of whether she has a father who pays maintenance.
Its always the blood family that pays the price when the money goes to complete strangers!
"Thats how the law works theses days"
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October 27, 2009 at 8:53 amsuburban.scum
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do you want some one to date for fun or are you looking for a long term to settle down with long term kinda thing? i’m gonna guess the first. dont eff her life by wasting her time.
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